Over the Line

Dear Narrator-Post,

We’ve heard a lot of ruckus lately from certain people regarding the “re-education,” shall we say, of other planes of existence. I would like to take this opportunity to remind these well-meaning folks and the general public that we have no business fixing other dimensions until we ourselves have reached perfection. In that vein, perhaps we should re-focus our attention on finding solutions to problems plaguing us right here in the Gri’x.

I refer, of course, to the still unresolved issue of whether or not the yellow lines on the road should run from east to west, or from west to east. (If you’ll remember, the north-south debate raged for several decades before it was finally put to rest, and there are STILL those who disagree vehemently with the Ouija board’s final decision.)

This controversy is a blight upon our collective image. Just last week, two of my neighbors had such a row over this that I feared for my life. The police, when they arrived, claimed that Road Commissioner Paddie Fwhack had not yet authorized them to make any arrests in such a dispute, and I thought that painting the entire road yellow was really just one more way that public officials will sweep problems under the carpet for someone else to deal with.

You’re not fooling anyone, Commissioner Fwack! Give me back my yams!

Ms. Ettie Drip (Age 9)

Ed: And that’s why I usually just stay on the sidewalk.